People keep on asking me how I feel now that Ruddigore is all wrapped up. It's a strange feeling, I tell you. It's a cocktail of contradictory emotions, a compacted ball of memories, a sudden end to a roller coaster ride... and yes, a rush of extreme fatigue, a condition that demands a full week of sleep. I haven't felt this way since April 21st, 2010, the day after my senior recital.I had a lot of fun. Going to auditions on April 10, 2011, I did not know what I was supposed to expect out of this experience. On the drive to auditions, the ever present thought was: what am I getting myself into? Now, almost four months from that day, whatever it was I got myself into - I am glad I did. The experience has been amazing. I got the chance to work (and befriend) some of the most amazing and talented people, and beyond all the talent I encountered much dedication and hard work. I also got a chance to act again. I've forgotten how much I love acting.
But all good things must come to an end, right?
It is extremely hard for me to let go of things. I've got issues, you know. (Actually, I've got lots of them.) Even though I smile and wave as people and things drift further and further away from me, my heart can never fully grasp goodbyes. Always the drama queen. As I was throwing in bits and pieces of Ruddigore's set pieces into the trucks destined for the dump, it dawned on me that the show was really over. I had splinters as proof. As I chucked the pieces into the back of the truck, thoughts floats through my mind:
"There goes Rose's cottage."
"There goes the church..."
"There goes the steps where I ripped my dress..."
Even though it's quite hard for me to accept, life is like a novel. There are multiple chapters; the end of one usually means the beginning of another. Themes come and go. Characters change and develop - unless you have some of those who can be described more as flat characters.
Looking back, I've over the course of about three months, I can't help taking inventory of what I have gained. New friends, about 120 pictures, funny stories, inside jokes, and fond memories. And so I bid farewell and end this chapter properly entitled "Ruddigore," and make room in my life for other adventures.
