Bad Boys

Funny how at times you can't seem to recognize a good thing even after it hits you on the head. Many people take for granted the good things in life - friends, family, love.

Cliche statements floating around in my head. I know. It's a tad bit unnatural, especially for me. Whenever cliches decorate my rhetoric, they usually are connected at the hip to my faithful friend. Sarcasm.

Anyways. I'm sure the millions of people reading this blog have one question: what the heck?

Well. The fact that I am unmotivated to start my summer papers and broke due to the lack of occupation gives me the time to think about conspiracy theories. Okay. Maybe I'm exaggerating. I spend most of my time these two weeks watching 3 seasons of Veronica Mars on DVD. I think I've gotten a little hooked on it. My current roommate can certainly vouch for that. She has threatened to take Veronica Mars away from me. She can do that. Especially because the DVDs belong to her.

Bad boys. Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

Sigh. Right now there is only one boy in my life - one bad boy to be exact. His name? Logan Echolls. You guessed it. He's the guy from Veronica Mars. Please don't misinterpret this as an oh-he's-so-cute-i'm-now-a-fan-and-want-to-marry-him-and-have-his-babies kind of thing. To be frank, Jason Dohring is a pretty amazing looking man. I'm not covering it up. I'm human. And he's quite an attractive guy. But that's besides the point. The point is, Jason Dohring portrayed that character of Logan Echolls quite brilliantly. The spoiled bad boy son of an A-list actor who fell madly in love with a girl that loves him back but have some trust issues. And I didn't get it wrong. I don't have a crush on Jason Dohring. But I sort of do have one on Logan Echolls. Yes. The fictional character that lived for three years on television, thanks to Rob Thomas. (Note: I am not crazy. At least, not yet. I will give further notice if I decide to change my mind.)

Back to my topic. Bad boys.

Why are they so appealing? This might be an assumption, but based on general observation, I should be able to prove this. I guess this is also a confession. I have a thing for bad boys. Haha. Who would have guessed?

Back to their appeal. My theory is that they provide a sense of adventure. We can't blame ourselves. We are geared that way. Even the most organized, sensible, rational girl is prone to fall for the bad boy. They carry this thing with them. Risk. Admit it. It's appealing. All of us humans - no matter men or women - are thrill seekers. We always want a secure life, a safe life. But we are so allured by risk, danger, adventure. Wonder. It's not bad. I think we're sort of wired that way. It's funny isn't it? We work so hard to stabilize everything and make life predictable, but then we complain about being trapped... We long for that adventure. We long for uncertainty. We long for the mystery. We long for the romance.


So. That's that about my bad boy spiel. Back to Mr. Echolls. I know it sounds a little out there and slightly psychotic, but the writers of VM got my ideal kind of guy dead on. Well. Without the promiscuous lifestyle of extramarital sex and abuse of alcohol. See. In Veronica Mars, Logan has turned out to be the knight in shining armor always there in time to save the love of his life who happens to love playing with distress. Okay. Rephrase. He's a sarcastic snidy knight in shining armor... If you haven't noticed by now, I have a relationship with sarcasm. I find it quite... witty. It's a very creative way to communicate truth with ambiguity. Anyways. Logan says the most incredible things. He's got a take on life that is quite uniquely charming. Here are some of the things he had said:

• "'Anthropomorphic.' All yours, big guy." (To the principal, when asked if he can "have a word")

• "Annoy, tiny blonde one. Annoy like the wind!"

• "Push in on our hero. Natural light frames his handsome, weathered face, as he passed sage advice to his doting daughter. The music swells. [imitating Yoda] "Important your family is, hmm, hmm."

• "[stops his stopwatch] Twelve hours to hit me up for my dead mother's money. Hmmm, I wonder who had that in the pool."

• "[in police lineup] Oh wow, I'm stunned. You like me! You really like me! Well first, I'd just like to say the other, uh, nominees are all such wonderfully gifted criminals. And I wanna thank my agent and my publicist for always shooting me from the left side."

• "Drugs? Murder? Frame-ups? St. Mary's Church? God, why didn't we think of that sooner?"

• "You do know I've been cleared of all charges, right? The whole 'dead Felix' business has lost its intrigue for me. Once something stops being important to me, my memory gets a little fuzz - wait. Who are you?"

• "Follow the bouncing ball [signals with his fingers]: not-my-problem"

• "Thoughts of me? Hey, I get it. Sometimes I'm up all night, just thinkin' about myself."

• [Veronica asks if he has spoken to Dick] "Yeah, but it was brief - shouted his name, flipped me off: the bonds of friendship."

• Clif- They have set your court date. A month from today. Logan- Whatever will I wear?

• [In response to "You're gonna die"] "Yeah, [smirks] someday."

• [To Deputy Sachs, who has come to tell him that Sheriff Lamb "would like a word"] "If I'm under arrest, then do me the courtesy of making it all official-like."

I don't know. Sounds pretty cool to me. This bad boy of the television series was also portrayed as having a pretty amazing sense of humor - one that I could relate to. Maybe it had something to do with the hint of sarcasm... (Hmm.. I'm starting to think that they might have written his character based on a real life person. I should probably track him down.)

But he's pretty messed up though. Father: murderer, abuser, and pervert, murdered by the order of his best friend. Mother: jumped off a bridge. Sister: wants to be in the limelight. Girlfriend record: first one killed by his father, second one almost got killed by his father and have serious psychotic trust issues (she couldn't trust him to save his life). He's what you call a girl's father's worst nightmare. I'm sure if I start seeing a guy with that kind of background, my dad would get a restraining order.

It's funny though that while I'm thinking about it, I got reminded of last week's The Bachelorette on ABC. Jillian (this season's bachelorette) have said that to find the right person you have to have been heartbroken before. Well, you see, Jillian. I have a problem with your theory. It seems a bit... faulty. If your theory is right. I should be marrying prince charming right about now.

Sorry. I kinda got sidetracked. One thing though. Out of the distorted yet cool portrayal of Logan Echolls, the many facets are dimmed by the fact that he'll do anything for the woman he loves - although most of the times, she does not deserve his affections due to the aforementioned psychotic trust issues.

He's also surprisingly very patient with his very difficult-to-understand girlfriend. Some of the cute and sweet things he said:

Dick Casablancas: Dude, what the hell are you doing? Please tell me this is some new reality show called 'My Skank'.
Logan Echolls: Goodbye, Dick.
Dick Casablancas: What?
Logan Echolls: Get out of my house. You have a problem with Veronica, you leave. Actually, you have a problem with Veronica, you're pretty much dead to me, so just, like, evaporate or something, I don't know. That's kind of a general invitation. If you don't like my girlfriend, then... just start heading towards the rectangle with the knob.

Veronica Mars: You didn't know what would happen.
Logan Echolls: I'm the one who's responsible for what happened to you. And I can't take that I hurt you like that. I can't take that i hurt you when all I wanna do is protect you.
[Veronica kisses him]
Logan Echolls: I want you to trust me.
Veronica Mars: ...I do.

Veronica: So what are you like now?
Logan: You know, tortured... ever since I got my heart broken.
Veronica: Hannah really did a number on you, huh?
Logan: Come on, you know I'm not talking about Hannah. I thought our story was epic, you know, you and me.
Veronica: Epic how?
Logan: Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed. EPIC. But summer's almost here, and we won't see each other at all. And then you leave town... and then it's over.
Veronica: Logan...
Logan: I'm sorry about last summer. You know, if I could do it over...
Veronica: Come on. Ruined lives? Bloodshed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?
Logan: No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.

Logan Echolls: Here, a bonus birthday gift.
Veronica Mars: You got me a bow? A bow! How did you guess?
Logan Echolls: Open it smarty pants. Veronica: Your room key? What if I drop in unexpectedly? The other girls will have to - [makes vamoose gesture]
Logan: But you know there's no one else. I only want you. You ought to know that by now. [pause]
Logan: What, no quip?

"You know who I am. And you're constantly expecting me to change. [she looks at him dumbfounded] And even right now as you're thinking, "Crap, he's got a point," you still think you're ultimately right. I love you Veronica. I love you. [after no response] Do you love me?"


I guess if they ever come up with a movie or another season to conclude Veronica Mars' story, I would love to see her end up with Logan. It's just.... EPIC. Oh wow. I think this blog could really sound like I'm going crazy. Maybe I am. I'm just waiting for my Logan Echolls to come along... It's crazy right? but it's an adventure nevertheless.

Rantings and Ravings of a Friend

Dear friend's significant other,

I have friends with boyfriends. And, contrary to popular beliefs, I have no problem with that at all. The thing that enrage me is when my friend's significant other does not acknowledge my existence at all. I know you are dating my friend, but that doesn't mean that I don't exist. I have opinions, wants, and emotions.

As a lot of my close companions would say, I can be a pretty scary person, especially if you don't know me. However, I am not cruel. If we all are hanging out together and you wanted some coffee, and if you communicated with the rest of the group, I have no problem with it and would definitely say yes and that it's not a problem.

I have a problem when we are all hanging out together and you decide to do your own thing without consulting the group. And then it affects people in the group and you're completely oblivious to that. I hate the fact that, to you, I am not important and you act like I don't exist. I know you are dating my friend (and not me), but I think I deserve at least a small amount of your recognition.

Honestly, I don't expect you to do something I don't expect of myself. When you are around and I'm making coffee, I make more than just one cup of coffee. I don't do that out of the kindness of my heart. Trust me, I'm not nice. I do that because you are there, hanging out with my friend. I respect you and I acknowledge you as being a part of my friend's life. It would be very preferable if you could respect me and acknowledge me as being a part of my friend's life.

Please don't be surprised if I'm not too excited to see you. At least I'm not inflicting pain upon your life. Yet.

Sincerely yours,

A scorned me

Home for Christmas

...I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams...

The curse of an international student is not going home for Christmas. I love it when people don't realize that home is 8,000 miles away and that it is quite impossible to go home. Then, when I tell them that I'm not going home for Christmas, they feel bad for me. Honestly, I don't know how I feel about not going home for Christmas. The last time I was home for Christmas was in 2005, three years ago.

I am blessed with people that are concerned about me. I've had five (or even more) people invite me to spend Christmas with them, and I'm very grateful and touched. For two years, since I've been in the States, I've spent Christmas with my parents. This is my first Christmas without them. A part of me, though, don't want to spend Christmas at someone else's family. No matter how kind the people are, I will only be a guest. It'll constantly remind me that I'm not with my family. This part of me thinks that it might be better for me to stay in my apartment and chill. I still don't know what I'll decide to do for Christmas.

This brought me to another thought. Family. Yes, I miss my parents, my cousins, and my friends that are all back home. My best friend, Kristi's parents are coming here to spend Christmas with her and her sister. A part of me is quite jealous because they get to see their parents. But I had a realization that is quite astounding (at least for me). I do have a family here.

I have Jordan and Brittany, Jason and Breanne, Anna, Jeff, Leah, Alysha, Kevin, Aaron, Rocky...

Throughout these two years that I've spent in this foreign land, I have gained myself a family. It's pretty disfunctional, but I love them all very much. When I look back, these were the people that celebrated birthdays, Christmas, etc. with me. When I feel like crap and endured so-called friends that are really jerks, these people are the ones I turn to. I don't have to try to be someone I'm not. These people know me (they don't just claim to know me) and love me just the way I am. With them, I can relax and put my guard down. My idea of relaxing and having fun is going over to Jordan and Brittany's and playing games or going over to Jason and Breanne's to just chat. (After hanging out with them for almost two hours, I recover from feeling like crap.) I've always told people that if I have a prospective significant other, they would have to go through Jordan, Brittany, Jason, and Breanne.

So... apparently, home is not where your parents are or where your citizenship is. Because when these people are around, I know I'm home.

The Best Thing that Happened to Me Today

My daddy called me at 7:30am today. On other days, that might be the worst thing that could happen to me. But today, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Last night, I dreamed that my dad died. I didn't know how or why that thought crept into my subconscious as I drift to a deep and restless sleep, but it did. I was just so devastated, I barely can breathe.

My phone rang at 7:30am and it took me a couple of seconds to realize that the noise came from my phone, which was right next to my pillow. I wasn't even half awake when I answered, whispering so I didn't wake Sandra.

"Darling? Are you awake?" I heard the familiar sound of my dad's voice. I only answered with a grunt, but I was so relieved beyond belief.

To those that might have not figured this out yet, I am very much my daddy's girl. And I would trade anything to be with him right now. There's nowhere else I'd rather be than home.

1 year, 6 months, and 2 days
78 weeks
548 days
13,152 hours
789,120 minutes
47,347,200 seconds
... until I get to go home.

The Great Chasm Between an X and a Y

A conversation with a friend last week sparked a thought that ends up consuming a lot of my time lately. We were talking about how men in ministry attract attention from females around them. Men that love God and are passionately serving God are hot! There. I said it. Don't get me wrong, there is no sarcastic tone whatsoever in that statement. I, personally, agree with that statement. When guys are displaying leadership in the ministry, by leading worship or preaching the word of God or leading small groups or even running sound, it’s attractive.

Now I am looking at the flip side of the same coin.

It occurs to me that when ladies display leadership in the ministry, the men around them get intimidated. I know that there are ladies that are too dominant or controlling or overbearing, but I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about women that are passionate about God and have hearts for the ministry. Is it a crime for a woman to lead worship, preach the word of God, lead small groups, pastor, or even run sound? Are women that are actively involved in ministry a threat to men? Why?

I never knew that an X could be that much different than a Y.