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Less is more. Unless you're standing next to the one with more. Then less just looks pathetic.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Home for Christmas

...I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams...
The curse of an international student is not going home for Christmas. I love it when people don't realize that home is 8,000 miles away and that it is quite impossible to go home. Then, when I tell them that I'm not going home for Christmas, they feel bad for me. Honestly, I don't know how I feel about not going home for Christmas. The last time I was home for Christmas was in 2005, three years ago.

I am blessed with people that are concerned about me. I've had five (or even more) people invite me to spend Christmas with them, and I'm very grateful and touched.
For two years, since I've been in the States, I've spent Christmas with my parents. This is my first Christmas without them. A part of me, though, don't want to spend Christmas at someone else's family. No matter how kind the people are, I will only be a guest. It'll constantly remind me that I'm not with my family. This part of me thinks that it might be better for me to stay in my apartment and chill. I still don't know what I'll decide to do for Christmas.

This brought me to another thought. Family. Yes, I miss my parents, my cousins, and my friends that are all back home. My best friend, Kristi's parents are coming here to spend Christmas with her and her sister. A part of me is quite jealous because they get to see their parents. But I had a realization that is quite astounding (at least for me). I do have a family here.

I have Jordan and Brittany, Jason and Breanne, Anna, Jeff, Leah, Alysha, Kevin, Aaron, Rocky...

Throughout these two years that I've spent in this foreign land, I have gained myself a family. It's pretty disfunctional, but I love them all very much. When I look back, these were the people that celebrated birthdays, Christmas, etc. with me. When I feel like crap and endured so-called friends that are really jerks, these people are the ones I turn to. I don't have to try to be someone I'm not. These people know me (they don't just claim to know me) and love me just the way I am. With them, I can relax and put my guard down. My idea of relaxing and having fun is going over to Jordan and Brittany's and playing games or going over to Jason and Breanne's to just chat. (After hanging out with them for almost two hours, I recover from feeling like crap.) I've always told people that if I have a prospective significant other, they would have to go through Jordan, Brittany, Jason, and Breanne.

So... apparently, home is not where your parents are or where your citizenship is. Because when these people are around, I know I'm home.