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Perspective
Less is more. Unless you're standing next to the one with more. Then less just looks pathetic.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Ugly Truth


After the day I had today, I seriously need to write this down - for my sake, more than for the sake of others. If I do not write it down and own this, I will seriously convince myself that it's normal. The truth is it's not normal. The ugly truth is I have a problem.

Oh my, I'm sure everyone reading this have quickly jumped into premature conclusions. "Is she...?" "She struggling with this?" The ugly truth you are about to read may not be what you expected... then again, it might be what you expected.


The question I pose for everyone to reflect on is


How do you cope when the storm hits you?


Everyone copes with storms in life differently. Some ways are beneficial, some not harmful but may be destructive, others completely disastrous. Some people cope with drugs, others cope with alcohol. Some cope with sports, others cope with hobbies. No matter what people use to cope, they are looking for whatever it is that will make them feel better - albeit temporarily.


For me, there are two things that become my means to feeling better. One more than the other.
Can you guess what it possibly might be? Yes, my coping mechanism is shopping. And yes, it can potentially be very dangerous to my financial health.

I just bought a new blue sweater dress, a Kat von D eye shadow pallette, Bare Minerals foundation, Bare Minerals powder, and Bare Minerals lipstick. Seriously? Seriously?! Seriously. I only needed two out of all those things I ended up purchasing.

Yesterday was horrible. It's easy for people to say not to worry and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's different this time. This time, it's just pitch black. I don't see any light. I don't even know what direction to step in. It's pitch black... and I am alone. Do you know how frustrating this is? I wanted to throw a tantrum, but I am too tired and drained to be able to throw one. Today is a total blur of numbness. Physically, I am a lot better than I am mentally and emotionally. And I was hoping shopping would make me feel something.. anything... Maybe a hint of happiness?

The cause of my frustration and depression will not be discussed. Sorry. But it's fair to say that it is crippling. I remember my homeroom teacher in 11th grade was told to describe me, and he described me as a person who loves life. Today I was challenged to ask myself: where did that girl go? Is she still anywhere inside of me?

Anywho. The ugly truth is out. Shopping is my coping mechanism, and it can be dangerous. And I realize that.

It's funny how God answers you using your own metaphors and your own language. God revealed to me that he is holding my hand. Yes, I'm in the tunnel. Yes, I can't see where I'm going or where the light is. But God is there holding my hand and, because I know that he has the full perspective, I know it's going to be alright.

What is your coping mechanism? How do you deal with the storms in life? Honestly. Life is always going to be tough. There will be the happy moments, but there will also be the frustrating and depressing moments in life. The question is how do we cope with those frustrating times? Are we going to run to something that gives temporary happiness, or do we run to something that gives peace in the midst of the storm?

"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Phillipians 4.13

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Observations from a Disney Classic

Out of all of the Disney classics, I would have to say that I like Beauty and the Beast the best. I like the movie because it doesn't just portray a heroine that sits back and let her fairy tale ending get handed to her on a silver platter. Needless to say, the Sleeping Beauty might be my least favorite Disney Princess movie. Beauty and the Beast tells the story of Belle, who made choices that affected her happy ever after.

After church today, my roommates turned Beauty and the Beast on. Of course, I was compelled to sit and watch with them. I think this time, though, I saw the movie through a different set of glasses. The following observations I gleaned from today's viewing of the movie does not, however, change my feelings about the movie. Just to let you know in advance.

Observation #1:
It pains me to think that there are people like Gaston in the world, people that are too disillusioned with who they think they are that they live their lives in a dream world... and then they force people to succumb to that world and its rules. Honestly, if I see a guy as absurd as Gaston, I would punch his face. A quick note for all the boys out there: don't propose and prepare a wedding on the same day. She might say no. And, if she's me, she might punch your face.

Observation #2:
A lot of times, girls get caught up in the dream of living in a world where magic, prince charmings, and fairy godmothers roam around free. I'm not doubting that if Belle had chosen a different path, to not be so taken by the enchanted castle, she would have found herself living a different life. Looking at her strong will, that alternate future probably won't involve a Gaston, but it wouldn't involve a cursed prince and an enchanted castle too. I think every little girl fall into that bottomless pit. We are all told to dream and wait for the perfect man to come. Pretty much the embodiment of Snow White's song, "Someday My Prince will come." I think it's unfair for the men in our lives when they have to live up to the expectations of the perfect Prince Charming who will give us magic, romance, and adventure. That's a pretty hard job to accomplish.

Observation #3:
I feel that Beauty and the Beast can be a tad bit misleading at times, especially for the ladies out there. I'm afraid that too many girls watch the movie and leave thinking that they'll be able to turn the beast into a gorgeous man or take any gross frog and kiss him into a prince. So the girl grows up and meets a man that isn't perfect. The man is pretty much like Beast - arrogant, temperamental, and rude. But subconsciously, she has always clung to the notion that she will be able to change him. Therefore she will be determined to tame the wild. Then... after she has successfully tamed him into the perfect husband, she'll wonder where the wild, adventurous "beast" she fell in love with went. Ironic, huh? This whole train of thought started from the scene where Beast was transformed back to a man. Honestly, I think that Beast looked better as a beast than as a man. Although some would say that he's the exact same person and that it shouldn't make a difference, it will be different. He views himself differently, and she doesn't see the beast she fell in love with. Of course it's different.

Oh my. It's funny how these random thoughts come into my head.