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Less is more. Unless you're standing next to the one with more. Then less just looks pathetic.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Curse

The idea of the curse inhabited my mind since it brought unnecessary complication to my life - forcing me to keep in hand the no-thank-you-let's-just-be-friends card.

Anyways, back tot he initial topic - the curse. The curse that has been intertwined in the fibers of my being is my memory. I remember.

You might think, that is nothing unusual. I remember more than what average people care to. I can't just choose not to remember. I have no choice. I remember everything.

I remember when I was little, I disobeyed my mom and went swimming alone. It was very silent. I felt very lonely. My mom knew I was missing and found me there. She blew up (to say the least). I remember that "incident" to this day. I remember what I was wearing; I remember what the pool looked like. I also remember what shade of lipstick my mom was wearing.

Some people would probably comment: so what, remembering is a good thing. Well... not really. Yes. To a certain extent, remembering things is a good thing. I remember birthdays, and anniversaries, and funny incidents, and many other things. But there are things - places, people, images, and events - that I would gladly give up. There are things one would like to bury so deep inside that one's mind can never recall ever again. But I can't forget those, no matter how hard I try.

So I think of this as a curse because my memory was misunderstood as a sign of affection by a person. I am so sorry, but I don't mean to mislead you. I am not interested in being anything but friends.

Just like a coin, there are two opposite sides of my memory. It is a good thing and a bad thing, a gift and a trick, a blessing...

and a curse.

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